So, what do you really want?
That is the question, isn’t it? It is the question that tests your motives and your intent. For some, you can answer with an ease and clarity as if you have rehearsed the line for years. On the other end of the spectrum, some of you have no earthly idea because you have spent so much time doing what you had to do to pay the bills or please someone else.
What do you want is a power question. It shapes everything. There is an opportunity to actually coordinate your life around the answer if you have the fortitude to do so.
After decades of mentoring leaders and speaking with people who think about these questions, here are a few answers that I normally hear:
- “I want to have enough funds to be able to make a difference and live a good life with my family.” I hear this one the most.
- “I want to be able to retire with respect and have the means to be able to travel with my family and see the world.”
- “I want to have the freedom to create the things that are on my heart. I don’t want to have to work for money, but rather be able to build things that have meaning.”
- “I would like to be able to be able to be a full time minister to help people in different places without getting bogged down in administration.”
Freedom and funds to be able to do what is really on their heart. It is as if they are doing things now that they have to do to get to the point of being able to do the things that they really want to do.
“Have to do.” Have you ever heard a kid say, “do I have to?” The dread of doing things we don’t want to do in order to get finished with them so we can do the things we want to do. For example, chores, sweeping floors, mowing the lawn, doing taxes, administration. All of these are “have to’s” in order to do the things we want to do.
The issue is that along the way a lot of us have gotten swept away in the “have to’s” and forgotten what we want to do. The dream and the vision have become like a mirage, a fuzzy view of the future that comes and goes like a distance haze.
To answer my question you need to carve out the time. Finding what you want is not a flippant question. If you truly answer it, then it actually could change the rest of the life that you have on this earth.
My answer to “what do I want?” led me to fire myself, sell all our possessions and move across the pond to live and start the next GiANT business in Europe. The ramifications of executing my answer has created ramifications in my kids and in my life as well as the employees that now work for the company started from my answer.
When you answer rightly the question, “what do you want?” you affect the trajectory of dozens and maybe hundreds of people.
So, let’s do this.
1. Carve out the time. Block it. Two hours minimum.
2. Bring some paper and get away from distractions.
3. Make an inspirational music playlist as background music.
4. Ask God to help you answer.
5. Now, write the question down:
“WHAT DO I WANT?”
6. List your bullet points as they come to mind. Try to be as specific and concrete as possible.
7. Then, analyze them and decide if they are legit. Scratch through the things that you FEEL like you should want and keep what you really want on paper.
8. Show someone that is for you. Let them ask you the hard questions.
9. Now, refine your answers and try to write it in a sentence, such as:
“I want to lead my family well through this rough period.”
“I want to get my business to $X by Y so that we can sell the business in order to…”
“I want to finish the last three years here so that we can move to be closer to the kids and pour into them.”
10. Analyze what you have written and ask God what He wants for you.
The good news is, you have done it. You have answered a potent question. The tough news is that this is just the beginning. How do you get to what you want? That is the million dollar question. There is more help to come.
If you know of anyone that needs this, have them sign up for the blog on the site, JeremieKubicek.com.
For you, always!