When Confident Humility Can Hurt

Yesterday, I talked about the positive affects of having ‘confident humility’ – a confident self-awareness of who you are and of who you aren’t. Functioning out of that place can have many benefits to you and others.

Like everything else, though, there are down sides that come along with it. These are some areas where having an “I Can Do Better” attitude can hurt…

1. “We” Can Do Better Than “Me” Most of the Time
If I’m stuck on thinking I can always do a better job than others, then I miss out on the collective power of others in my work/life.

2. The Borderline of Pride
Because ‘confident humility’ is not being self-deprecating, but rather an honest assessment of oneself, having an “I Can Do Better” attitude is walking the borderline of a healthy perspective & unhealthy pride.

3. It Can Cause Us to Disconnect
When we are too inward-focused, it causes us to lose sight of others in our lives. We can easily get lost in our work because we are overly focused, and, at the same time, fall into a pattern of disconnect with those around us.

How can you safeguard yourself against these?

1. Intentionally Be Around Others
While you may feel like you’re too busy, the only way to fight self-consumption is by being intentional about connecting with others. Ask them out for lunch. Keep your door open & your phone off ‘do not disturb.’ Resist the urge to look at your watch when someone is talking to you. Keep your mind & attention in the present conversation.

2. Know Your Weaknesses
While one half of humility/self-awareness is knowing your strengths, the other half is knowing your weaknesses. Don’t dwell on them (you’ll always accomplish more by focusing on our strengths). However, you need to be cognizant of the ways that you can slip easily into your weaknesses.

3. Let Others Review Your Work
This is a hard one; but the truth is that even your best work can be improved. Having other eyes on your work will not only cause you to excel even further, it will help fill in your blind spots & make what you produce even better.