Can you honestly say that you have nothing to prove?
What are you afraid of losing?
What is it that you are trying to hide?
I believe these three questions are healing questions, if addressed properly in the right context of the season of life and leadership you are in. The negative is true, I believe these three areas are what keeps current leaders shackled and bound into being people they don’t want to be.
Let’s take a deeper look:
1. What are you trying to prove and to whom are you trying to prove it?
Some of you are still trying to prove yourselves to your fathers and for some, your dads are passed away. Others are trying to prove that they deserve the salary or want to show your peers that you are what you said you were.
Answering this question is huge. For once you address it you can deal with it. Imagine the peace in your life if you could get to the place where you don’t care or it is irrelevant to what you do by being clear from the pursuit of proving your worth or your status or your pedigree.
2. What are you afraid of losing?
None of us want to lose our homes or retirement. I am suggesting something more relevant however. How many of us are afraid of losing our perceived reputation? “Everything he touches turns to gold.” That was something I was afraid to lose. I had multiple say those words to me. Then a downturn occurred and I realize my “golden” reputation was going to be affected. I confused my identity with perception.
What are you afraid of losing, really? Name it. Is it perks, benefits, perceived reputation, access, money itself? When you can admit what you are afraid to lose you will also begin to see how much hold that fear has on your life. The next natural step is to see how much that fear is actually limiting you and your career.
3. What are you trying to hide?
I have worked with leaders who are trying to hide the fact that they don’t hold the actual degrees or certifications that they believe their co-workers think they have. So, they keep a façade and don’t get too close all because of this fear. Their co-workers then say things like, “Steve is not very personal. He likes to keep his distance. I am not sure I trust him.” Things like that.
What are you trying to hide? Realize it. Admit it.
Proving, Keeping, Hiding. These are all based on fear and fear kills. It maims and limits and steals and causing all sorts of drama and pain.
The solution is to name it, admit it and get real. When we name things they have less power over us. When we share with others you will notice those areas won’t have as much control over you.
However, if you don’t deal with these issues you will find yourself reeling in drama, emotional stress, insecurity and miserable relationships. I would guess that is not what you want.
Stop proving, fearing and hiding. Get real. It is a much better way to live.
